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Dude switch it up on her and see what that does. It sounds like your relationship is... well no other way to say it boring. Even married people spice their relationships up from time to time.
Far as the room mate it may be possible they got something going on, but the fact is she still with you and use it to your advantage. I like the idea one of the posters said about calling her friends and suprising her with dinner, follow that up with a few more things and see how she reacts.
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