Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindz
Looks good so far. I think you captured "your dealer is an idiot" perfectly. The one part I'm worried about is how easily it is for this guy to do everything. To singlehandedly break a friend out of jail and escape without being touched or chased is causing me to hang up on that point.
If there was a chase and the character escaped, then the transition wasn't smooth at all.
Could also develop scenes and people a little more descriptively also.
I'd continue reading.  |
thanks for that feedback, i have been editing it...the main character can't do "everything", i just briefly wrote that part...i'm still comin up with crazy ideas...but ur feedback is greatly appriciated