My brother sent me these, very funny...
The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of
actual police car videos around the country.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."
#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you
didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"
#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?..... You're right,
we don't. .... Sign here.