Chevrolet Corvette Stingray C7 Forum - View Single Post

2001ragtop · 11-09-2009, 12:43 PM

Just tell your kid you don't care what he does or says. (reverse pyschology)

oldest trick in the book. once he sees nothing he does can affect you, he probably will get bored and stop. he might even become more focused on staying out of trouble.

and also: let him get in as much trouble as he wants. allow him to make himself look like an ass all by himself without your involvement.

Just be sure YOU ARE NOT Acting like that yourself. YOU HAVE to be the calm relaxed one, so it will more fully EMPHASIZE that he is a baffoon.

MOST kids have to learn from their own mistakes. let him make them.

he is old enough now to know whats right and wrong.

But you are right. When he is in YOUR house, he has to follow YOUR rules.

POST/STATE THE RULES in a way that is not confusing. Then do not back down when he decides not to follow them. take away his priveledges, etc. you don't have to punch him in the face.

However: IF YOU ARE running some kind of MILITARY STYLE household, he likely will hate you and run away. IF YOU TALK TO HIM LIKE YOU DONT CARE ABOUT HIM AND THAT YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN bossing him around, then yeah he is going to hate you probably for the next 50 years. DO WHAT IT TAKES to get him to see you care about him.

i was very angry when i was 14. i was a screw-up. no self-esteem. i had few friends. i believe I was/and still am obnoxious. later on i woke up and decided i did not want to go my entire life like that. your son probably will watch OTHER KIDS end up in jail, or have problems that he probably does NOT want to happen to him. He has to make changes on his own. I bet he will. He likely just wants everyone to leave him alone. I am 41 and I STILL want everyone to leave me the F--- alone. To this day, I can't go anywhere with some total stranger trying to tell me what to do, or what to think, or how fast to drive, etc. Most people on the planet are fiercely obnoxious and annoying. 99 Percent of people almost always try to force their opinion on you when you didn't ask for it. The LEAST YOU CAN DO IS NOT BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. TRY TO BE YOUR KIDS FRIEND NOT HIS ENEMY.

i suggest you be patient and keep the lines of communication open. BEING aggressive is a bad idea. you can trick kids into thinking anything. if he desperately hates your guts though, you might have to just get used to that. eventually he likely will get over it. Just don't give him MORE and MORE reasons to hate you. I don't know what you're dealing with, but if your son does not admire you, or look up to you, you need to figure out why and also figure out if anyone else hates you besides him. Like I said, I don't know what you are dealing with. he sounds like he hates his life.

good luck.

11-09-2009, 12:43 PM	#69
2001ragtop Drives: V8 american car Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Dallas, Tx Posts: 1,417	Just tell your kid you don't care what he does or says. (reverse pyschology) oldest trick in the book. once he sees nothing he does can affect you, he probably will get bored and stop. he might even become more focused on staying out of trouble. and also: let him get in as much trouble as he wants. allow him to make himself look like an ass all by himself without your involvement. Just be sure YOU ARE NOT Acting like that yourself. YOU HAVE to be the calm relaxed one, so it will more fully EMPHASIZE that he is a baffoon. MOST kids have to learn from their own mistakes. let him make them. he is old enough now to know whats right and wrong. But you are right. When he is in YOUR house, he has to follow YOUR rules. POST/STATE THE RULES in a way that is not confusing. Then do not back down when he decides not to follow them. take away his priveledges, etc. you don't have to punch him in the face. However: IF YOU ARE running some kind of MILITARY STYLE household, he likely will hate you and run away. IF YOU TALK TO HIM LIKE YOU DONT CARE ABOUT HIM AND THAT YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN bossing him around, then yeah he is going to hate you probably for the next 50 years. DO WHAT IT TAKES to get him to see you care about him. i was very angry when i was 14. i was a screw-up. no self-esteem. i had few friends. i believe I was/and still am obnoxious. later on i woke up and decided i did not want to go my entire life like that. your son probably will watch OTHER KIDS end up in jail, or have problems that he probably does NOT want to happen to him. He has to make changes on his own. I bet he will. He likely just wants everyone to leave him alone. I am 41 and I STILL want everyone to leave me the F--- alone. To this day, I can't go anywhere with some total stranger trying to tell me what to do, or what to think, or how fast to drive, etc. Most people on the planet are fiercely obnoxious and annoying. 99 Percent of people almost always try to force their opinion on you when you didn't ask for it. The LEAST YOU CAN DO IS NOT BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. TRY TO BE YOUR KIDS FRIEND NOT HIS ENEMY. i suggest you be patient and keep the lines of communication open. BEING aggressive is a bad idea. you can trick kids into thinking anything. if he desperately hates your guts though, you might have to just get used to that. eventually he likely will get over it. Just don't give him MORE and MORE reasons to hate you. I don't know what you're dealing with, but if your son does not admire you, or look up to you, you need to figure out why and also figure out if anyone else hates you besides him. Like I said, I don't know what you are dealing with. he sounds like he hates his life. good luck. Last edited by 2001ragtop; 11-09-2009 at 12:58 PM.