[Justin]

I know some people that used to work with a youth group that used to work with inner-city kids in gangs, drugs, etc. They always started out the summer with this little number. They'd take all of the kids out in canoes and kayaks, and explain to them about some current that would pretty much take them out to England if they got caught in it and tell them not to screw around. Every year a few of them would, and the kids that didn't would be freaking out after two hours of the people not coming back, and I'm sure the kids in the canoes were going nuts too. Well, they'd let them get stuck in the current and tire themselves out, the whole time having someone watching them from a helicopter.

Obviously that's pretty elaborate, but I think it's the best way to explain what I was driving at which is give them some slack and let them make a mistake under your supervision and be there to help them when they do.

What works best with my students, and it may or may not work with a home setting, is autonomy. For instance, if one week a class is acting particularly badly, I'll tell them I'll make their quiz on Friday take-home if there are no more behavioral problems for the rest of the week, and if they don't act better overall after the week is over I'll give them harder quizzes for the next few weeks. See if you can work with the all-inclusive family on coming up with a universal set of rewards and punishments.

I don't know how much, if any of that has merit. I'm pretty unexperienced in both environments (I'm not actually a teacher yet, I'm doing a field experience which is kinda like student teaching before student teaching), but I figured I'd try to contribute.