BTW. I feel especially bad for letting Chris down. He's the one who started this thread and I took it to heart. He even followed up with me. I really did. AND tried to help me with my car along with other mods and I was ashamed. After my relapse, I just kept quiet and Spike had a good point. It's dishonesty by non-disclosure. I guess he's right, but how exactly does that conversation work? "Hey guys, I'm smoking again."? So I'm to be an attention whore?
Maybe. But I just didn't want to do that. A lot of guys tried to help me. PMs and on the boards. I was just too ashamed to say anything.
Some still have it in their sigs and such. Supermans, Sorry dude. I'll get this thing kicked by the fest. Sooner if possible.
I really do feel horrible for letting you guys down, but if you can find it within yourselves to forgive me then I can kick this thing. How many really kick it on their first try? Not making any excuses, because I have none, (well actually I have plenty but they are what they are. Stupid and invalid.) I don't feel stupid at all for letting a bunch of people on a web forum make me feel this way because this place is awesome and you guys are all great. Having met a lot of you, and spoken on the phone with even more, I really take it seriously.
Anyway, I'll keep you guys updated on my progress. I believe my decision must come within myself and I was caught off-gaurd last time. I'll make it happen. I'm ready to. You guys don't judge me too harshly and it will be easier to be open about it. I'm going to try the Chantix. A few of you swore by it, (you know who you are) and we'll see how I do. I DO have the desire, so hopefully I can report back soon with some success.
Again, Chris, I'm truly sorry. You must think I'm a slug. I'm not a dishonest person. I have my faults, but dishonesty is NOT one of them. I'll make you guys proud.
PQ