Quote:
Originally Posted by DGthe3
Nothing in the rules says you can't stand up for yourself. But standing up for yourself doesn't mean tearing the other guy down via name calling or being dismissive of who they are (or who you think they are). Those things have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with whether a fact is true or not (and what most people were doing in the name of 'standing up for themselves' when we infract them). If there is a disagreement about the facts, go over the sources for those facts providing arguments and counter-arguments to justify (or deny) their validity. Repeat ad nauseam (or until agreement is reached). Unless it becomes obvious that the person is simply a troll out to get a rise out of people, in which case report them and the site staff will review things.
If its an argument over an opinion? Don't bother, because an opinion can't be wrong. Opinions are simply what someone thinks. Like if someone says 'I hate sunflowers' its pretty hard to justify saying they're wrong. On the other hand, the facts used to form an opinion can be incorrect. Like if someone says 'I hate sunflowers because they swim too fast', they may have (inexplicably) confused sunflowers with sailfish. Again, establish what is fact (in this case, that sunflowers cannot actually swim, since they're plants that grow on land) ... and ignore someones personal preference.
And always keep in mind that you could be wrong. Its perfectly fine, best really, to admit it when you realize it and then move on. Continuing an argument just to 'win' is beyond pointless: you're playing by rules that nobody else knows about & you're the only one keeping score anyway.
Its not easy, but its infinitely more effective at getting people to actually listen -whether its the person you're actively arguing with or everyone else that is a witness to it. It may seem dispasionate, but too often people get caught up in the notion that what matters is the volume of their words -forgetting that volume, in this context, has 2 meanings. They assume that it has to be a shouting match (because those are always passionate), but forget that spending an hour or two quietly researching and rewording a post also means that you must care a great deal.
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Great theory, but there are very obvious prejudices in the practice thereof.
It's not what you know... it's who you know, or suck up to.. it seems. This isn't an absolute, just an observation... an unliked sunflower, if you will.