[Steve Dallas]

I don't know if this is my funniest, however it is the weirdest. Probably funny too, however not at the time.

I left college in 1983 after buying a 73 Dodge Charge SE with a 400 in it. Ran well enough, however it had seen some use. Paid $1000 for it. I loved the car, however my mom eventually called it the devil car. It just seemed to attract trouble. It was brown with a white vinyl top and it had big rear wheels and traction bars and was raised in the rear a little.

So I'm in Los Angeles with this thing for about a month and it blows a rod. I take it into a shop in Santa Monica and have him to replace the engine with a rebuilt 383. It takes a few weeks, and I get the car back...have it for perhaps 4 days before it blows a rod and destroys the engine. Mind you, I'm not running it hard yet.

The owner of the shop, Bruce, did his fair share to make sure I was happy...he rebuilds another 383 and I get it back...and it blows a rod. This is starting to get riduculous. He's not looking forward to doing this another time, yet he was going to. I had a job and had a little extra money so I gave him some extra to cover the differnce in cost between the 383 and a 440 magnum which I had coveted in the first place, however could not afford when I first started the process. So, with a little extra cash in hand, Bruce proceeds to rebuild a the 440. I guess I was ok with it since I'd been using a "loaner" since after the first engine blew...his 1974 Firebird.

I show up a week later to check on things and find out he's in jail. A guy had tried to come at him with a knife, and Bruce kills him with a handgun. And my car isn't at his shop. It's apparently with this metal fabricator named Jesse James getting a power steering bracket welded to the engine.

Bruce gets out of jail about a week later and recovers my car. Apparently Jesse James decided to take his money from Bruce by taking my tires and rims, my car stereo...and running the 440 without oil to destroy the engine.

Bruce did put in another 440 magnum and when finally driving the car home on Pacific Coast Highway going north out of Santa Monica I was in the middle most of the 4 lanes and suddenly lost any ability to steer. Veered towards the right, thankfully, as I could have gone to the left into oncoming traffic at 50mph. I didn't hit anything, just ran onto the curb and bumped a signpost as I was able to brake and stop before anything bad happened. The two front wheels are splayed out...a bolt had come off the tie rod because maybe a cotter pin wasn't used. Took a lug nut off one of the tires and used that to temporarily get the car home and fix it for good.

I didn't confront Bruce about that because I wonder if the guy that got shot did the same...