Bachelor Party Blues... - Page 5

DroptopZ · 08-29-2013, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GroundPilot

BTW OP, not to be an ass, but what guy has a girl as his BFF? ESPECIALLY one that he has not banged/tried to bang?

You can say she is like your sister, but she is not, even if how many guys would say their sister is their best friend?

It IS a bit strange and I would wonder myself if you were my friend....

I'd be fine with it, frankly... As long as she was respectful, didn't put herself in situations where they were alone all the time or drinking together alone, etc. I accept her as she is.

For those who a guy and a girl can't be friends, welcome to 2013

I'm a nice guy, grew up a nice guy and had plenty of girl friends I didn't try to bang. I see no reason why a person's gender should influence whether or not I choose to call them friend.

Also, 2012... Thanks. If you want to PM me your actual thoughts, wouldn't mind reading regardless of what they are.

detamble13 · 08-29-2013, 09:17 AM

The underlying issue is your wife is not cool with you having a girl for a best friend. She's alright with her standing up for you in the wedding, but she can't go to the bachelor party? That doesn't make sense to me especially because your brother in law and father in law are going to be there. Your fiance is jealous of this girl and is attempting to control the situation.
You said you don't hang out with your best friend alone out of respect for your fiance. Well what kind of best friends can't hang out together, alone. Trust is a huge part of marriage and it doesn't sound like it's there for you two. If she can't accept her as your best friend (outside your marriage because your wife should be your best friend) then you have a tough decision to make as you'll have to pick between these two girls.

jewel25 · 08-29-2013, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by detamble13

The underlying issue is your wife is not cool with you having a girl for a best friend. She's alright with her standing up for you in the wedding, but she can't go to the bachelor party? That doesn't make sense to me especially because your brother in law and father in law are going to be there. Your fiance is jealous of this girl and is attempting to control the situation.
You said you don't hang out with your best friend alone out of respect for your fiance. Well what kind of best friends can't hang out together, alone. Trust is a huge part of marriage and it doesn't sound like it's there for you two. If she can't accept her as your best friend (outside your marriage because your wife should be your best friend) then you have a tough decision to make as you'll have to pick between these two girls.

Women are naturally jealous people. I don't care who you are, women will always be jealous of other women. If they say they are not jealous then they are lying.

PoorMansCamaro · 08-29-2013, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DroptopZ

Basically, my dad is planning the bacheolor party but it's really important to me to have my best friend there. We're going to a horse-race track, then to a dive bar afterward... so no strippers, no hotel rooms, no crazy stuff... really, pretty tame. My bride's dad and brother-in-law will also be there, so there is absolutely NO funny-business. However, there is a pretty major problem...

My bride-to-be doesn't want my best friend there. In her mind, she thinks that bachelor parties are totally off limits to women, regardless of where we're going, what we're doing, or who is invited. I even told her she could come to the dive-bar afterward and hang out with all of us (and invite her friends if she wants). She's stating that she trusts me, but that people do stupid stuff at bachelor parties and she doesn't want that situation to come up. She also doesn't want people asking questions about whether my best friend and I ever dated, hooked up, etc at the wedding. It seems to be a lot about what people think. I've never cheated, never given her a reason not to trust me... nor would I. I've been hurt bad enough in the past to know never to do that to someone else. It's causing huge rifts and we've been fighting about it for a few days.

Thanks in advance, guys... sorry for the rant.

like I said, I think people are taking this way too seriously. based on the bolded parts of the OP, it seems like the bride is just traditional. no women at the bachelor party. at least not part of the party. lol I don't buy the whole "welcome to 2013" bs. it's a bachelor party. if you want mixed genders, call it a party. there is no gray line when it comes to bachelor parties.

she also want's to prevent rumors at her own wedding. even if the op and his best friends have no intentions with each other, rumors can fly pretty quickly. preventative maintenance...

QUICKSS · 08-29-2013, 10:06 AM

OP may feel like he doesn’t have romantic feelings about his best friend, but how does the best friend feel about him? There have been way to many movies made about this theory. Boys and girls being best friends "doesn't work". In time, he will find out his best friend wanted more, but she didn’t know how to take it further or risk the chance of not having him at all if she admitted it. Bottom line is either he has feelings for her that he won't admit, or she’s waiting for him to express it because she wants more from him. Check back in after a year of being married and let us know how it went, if you actually go through with it.

Good luck OP. This isn’t going to end well for one of these women.

GroundPilot · 08-29-2013, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PIPE

I'm a jerk? you dont even know me so kiss my ass

There was a reason I included the ->

smiley ya know. Yeah I believe the "tell it like it is" mantra is, or can be, jerk-ish behavior and often (but not always) said by people that are jerks. So lighten up Francis.

DroptopZ · 08-29-2013, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoorMansCamaro

she also want's to prevent rumors at her own wedding. even if the op and his best friends have no intentions with each other, rumors can fly pretty quickly. preventative maintenance...

The only thing I can't figure out is... If she's worried about the rumors, wouldn't she have nixed her being my best (wo)man? I figure if anything, that'd do it more than her attending the bachelor party.

PoorMansCamaro · 08-29-2013, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DroptopZ

The only thing I can't figure out is... If she's worried about the rumors, wouldn't she have nixed her being my best (wo)man? I figure if anything, that'd do it more than her attending the bachelor party.

I don't know her, obviously, but I would venture to say that her biggest issue is a girl at a bachelor party, and less about rumors.

here's a question, what's your dad's opinion on the matter? he's throwing the party.

DroptopZ · 08-29-2013, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoorMansCamaro

I don't know her, obviously, but I would venture to say that her biggest issue is a girl at a bachelor party, and less about rumors.

here's a question, what's your dad's opinion on the matter? he's throwing the party.

He thinks she should be allowed to go. Since I've known my friend for years, my parents also know her and her family.

PoorMansCamaro · 08-29-2013, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DroptopZ

He thinks she should be allowed to go. Since I've known my friend for years, my parents also know her and her family.

maybe scratch the bachelor party then. just have a party. lol

c_LoW29 · 08-29-2013, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoorMansCamaro

maybe scratch the bachelor party then. just have a party. lol

Right lol it doesnt seem like much of a bachelor party anyways based off the events that he stated. Might as well call it a party.

2012-1822 · 08-29-2013, 01:52 PM

I can solve this whole thing right now. Dead serious. The problem seems to be that the dad is planning the bachelor party and the to be in-laws are attending.

Screw that.

Now the OP is in Seattle, a bit far for me, but can some of you Canooks and Left coast members get together and throw him a separate Camaro5 bachelor party that he can bring his best friend to and that has strippers and blow, I mean just strippers. I'll chip in a five spot, let's get this going.

DroptopZ · 08-29-2013, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2012-1822

I can solve this whole thing right now. Dead serious. The problem seems to be that the dad is planning the bachelor party and the to be in-laws are attending.

Screw that.

Now the OP is in Seattle, a bit far for me, but can some of you Canooks and Left coast members get together and throw him a separate Camaro5 bachelor party that he can bring his best friend to and that has strippers and blow, I mean just strippers. I'll chip in a five spot, let's get this going.

you are gong to get me in trouble...

DroptopZ · 08-29-2013, 02:04 PM

Made my decision. I told her that I am willing to tell my friend she can't go, but there are conditions:

1) No more ultimatums unless it is for a VERY important issue. Open discussion is the name of the game.
2) We sit down and write a 'Constitution' so to speak, a living document of rules we want to set up for our house and our marriage that outline our obligations and duties to the other, and the things we can and cannot require, reasonably, of the other person.

I figure this is a good way to make sure we have something set out that helps both of us to make sure we are on the right track, we can refer to it and amend it as time goes on... but this will help make it fair for both of us.

I am still pretty upset by the whole thing, but I can't see another way out of this.

08-29-2013, 01:52 PM	#68
2012-1822 Drives: Black ZL1 Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: City of Champions, Alabama Posts: 3,698	I can solve this whole thing right now. Dead serious. The problem seems to be that the dad is planning the bachelor party and the to be in-laws are attending. Screw that. Now the OP is in Seattle, a bit far for me, but can some of you Canooks and Left coast members get together and throw him a separate Camaro5 bachelor party that he can bring his best friend to and that has strippers and blow, I mean just strippers. I'll chip in a five spot, let's get this going. __________________ Check out Alabama Camaros, for Camaro enthusiasts all around Alabama https://www.facebook.com/groups/1739...group_activity

08-29-2013, 02:04 PM	#70
DroptopZ I'm your huckleberry... Drives: '10 2SS/RS, '88 IROC vert Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Seattle Posts: 548	Made my decision. I told her that I am willing to tell my friend she can't go, but there are conditions: 1) No more ultimatums unless it is for a VERY important issue. Open discussion is the name of the game. 2) We sit down and write a 'Constitution' so to speak, a living document of rules we want to set up for our house and our marriage that outline our obligations and duties to the other, and the things we can and cannot require, reasonably, of the other person. I figure this is a good way to make sure we have something set out that helps both of us to make sure we are on the right track, we can refer to it and amend it as time goes on... but this will help make it fair for both of us. I am still pretty upset by the whole thing, but I can't see another way out of this. __________________ '88 IROC-Z vert (14.9 @ 92.3) // '10 2SS/RS LS3 - 423 RWHP, 418 RWTQ

08-29-2013, 09:17 AM	#58
detamble13 Drives: 2011 2SS/RS LS3 VR Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Chatham, ON Posts: 661	The underlying issue is your wife is not cool with you having a girl for a best friend. She's alright with her standing up for you in the wedding, but she can't go to the bachelor party? That doesn't make sense to me especially because your brother in law and father in law are going to be there. Your fiance is jealous of this girl and is attempting to control the situation. You said you don't hang out with your best friend alone out of respect for your fiance. Well what kind of best friends can't hang out together, alone. Trust is a huge part of marriage and it doesn't sound like it's there for you two. If she can't accept her as your best friend (outside your marriage because your wife should be your best friend) then you have a tough decision to make as you'll have to pick between these two girls.

08-29-2013, 10:06 AM	#61
QUICKSS Drives: 2013 2SS Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Garage Posts: 82	OP may feel like he doesn’t have romantic feelings about his best friend, but how does the best friend feel about him? There have been way to many movies made about this theory. Boys and girls being best friends "doesn't work". In time, he will find out his best friend wanted more, but she didn’t know how to take it further or risk the chance of not having him at all if she admitted it. Bottom line is either he has feelings for her that he won't admit, or she’s waiting for him to express it because she wants more from him. Check back in after a year of being married and let us know how it went, if you actually go through with it. Good luck OP. This isn’t going to end well for one of these women.